I've decided that I will start back where I left off and over the next few days just do some highlighting.
After many frustrating experiences, I've now managed to get my father into assisted living. My brother and I have set him up with new furniture and tried to make this transition as pleasant as possible. Initially, my father gave me a lot of grief, but when I finally explained he had no choice in the decision, he seemed to come around. It's so difficult explaining to someone they are incapable of safely looking after themselves and they have a disease called Alzheimer's that prevents them from doing so when they think they are perfectly fine. At this writing, my brother and I now have Power of Attorney and have taken over his affairs completely. For my father, we now know he's safe on a daily basis, getting fed properly, getting his medications administered properly, his personal hygiene is managed better and he actually has people to interact with on a daily basis if he so chooses.
This has been difficult for me as my father and I have never been 'warm and fuzzy' with each other, so it's rather ironic that this responsibility has landed in my lap primarily. Ah, life has so many lessons to teach us! For me, I've learned more tolerance and compassion and forgiveness for someone like my Dad. He was always such a proud, stubborn and energetic man. To see him in his present state is tough regardless of our relationship. Life has handed him some tough lessons and experiences as well.
I'm not sure, at this point, what he thinks or feels. When I go to see him, however, he appears somewhat grateful, somewhat relieved and a little less fearful.
Who knows what lies ahead, but I can only hope someone will help me out if I should end up with this cruel disease as well.
These pictures were taken in May 2010. He now looks so frail, by comparison....sad! He is now 92 years old. It's an odd coincidence that he and his sister (the two oldest) are now the only surviving siblings of five in his family. For my generation, my brother and myself(the two oldest)are the only two surviving siblings of four. Strange!
1 comment:
My goodness Marg. You have had some challenging times since your last post. You are paying a loving tribute to your Dad and I'm sure he appreciates all that you and your brother are doing for him. You are making some tough decisions lovingly. It is difficult to also remember that we as well may be in the same position in a number of years and that our children will be as kind.
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