This has been a VERY weird week. I ended up in hospital again from Sunday until yesterday. Once again, effects from this stupid pertussis. Long story short, I've been told by the lung specialist that I now have serious COPD permanently that may lead to emphysema(?) in the near future and that I have permanent asthma as well.
Oh, yeah! Next week the specialist is sending me for a bunch of tests. Then, he'd be able to tell me more accurately what my future may be.
I've gone through so many emotions this week, I can't begin to tell you where my head is at the moment. None of it very pretty.
I've decided this week, that I'm backing off on all the personal stuff as it only reminds me on a continuous basis how many stupid decisions I've made in my life and that I'm even more ridiculous by talking about it. Nothing like telling everyone you are a mess.
I've also reflected on how I need to back off with my opinions and work on keeping all of that to myself. No one really cares and it sounds pitiful.
What I do know is my opinions, decisions etc are mine. I need to be far more tolerant of other people's opinions and decisions and others need to be more tolerant and understanding of mine. I'm hardly a shining example of what's right for me, much less anyone else. I will say that this year, thus far, has been one of the roughest ever for me, both physically, mentally and emotionally.
Why can't we just let people live their lives the way they want. What is it about human nature that when our own lives are out of control and so wrong, that we try and screw up other people's lives as well by offering our advice.....shame on all of us, but especially shame on me! Some of us, for some reason, think our way(s)is the only way, which is so not reality. I'm going to try harder to be better.
Today,from a health perspective, I actually feel human again. Finally!
I got such a wonderful email from my youngest daughter today. She forwarded a picture of Maggie, my grandaughter, that just made my soul melt. Is this not the face of an angel?
It's a long weekend here in Canada and I need to continue getting well. I will probably just play at the computer with photos, etc. and clean up photo folders.
On Monday, my sister-in-law has invited us for dinner and conversation and she's cooking a special meal for me....can't wait. Let me tell you how good home made food is after five days of hospital food. I use the term 'food' loosely. Some of what was served was questionable at best.
I hope to shift the focus of my blog from here on and make it less about my personal life and more about my art and other pleasures.