Tuesday, February 2, 2010


This ends Month One of my journey............ 161 lbs. as of today.
It's funny how being on a treadmill for one hour gives you great time to think, to contemplate, to plan, to regret, to have a pity party, to rethink, to make choices, to decide and to get angry.
I've asked myself how I let my life go so wrong. How do I get my life back? How do I make some good choices? Where do I start my new beginning?.... Well, for me, it's first getting back into the best shape I can at 62 years old. This will be a long road! It took a lot of neglect, a lot of years of putting myself at the bottom of the priority list and a lot of personal disappointments, some of which I had no control over...some I certainly did!!.
I've posted some pictures taken recently to record how overdue this decision is to make some changes. It's not a very pretty picture....but in one year, I hope there will be a fairly dramatic change in my physicality and my psyche as well.
I'm not proud to admit all of this and I regret that I find myself looking old, worn out and unattractive. I had always taken SO much pride in myself. I can't even tell you when this sad transformation began, but one look and it's obvious it did. I hope to control my own metamorphosis.
As hard as this process will be, the next step will be to quit smoking and that will be even tougher. Cigarettes are my emotional crutch. Since most people look down on smokers like me, it actually gave me an excuse to get some alone time.
The reason I'm pretty sure I WILL succeed is my incredible stubbornness and determination when I get annoyed.........and I AM ANNOYED!!!

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