Tonight was my fourth night of Zumba and I have to tell you I'm really bad at it! Never mind, the point is I get a full one hour workout and we(the ladies) really do have a good time and yes, a few giggles as well. It is quite tiring, though!
I meet with my personal trainer tomorrow morning to get a full physical fitness assessment and then she will design a program based on where I stand at the moment and where I want to get to by year end. Hmmmm, I have a feeling if I think the Zumba is tough, it will seem like a walk in the park by the time I get through my program.
I have made SO many bad choices that I'm now paying for, so I'm determined to make a few I can be really proud of moving forward. I am so determined to get into shape.
I'm having SO many internal struggles at the moment. I've decided the physical is critical, but, I also want so badly to focus on my photography. I'd like to make a decent living at some point, but for the immediate, I absolutely MUST find a job that will give me a regular paycheque. I'm so tired of living with financial stresses! I've had to evaluate the things I can do something about and let go of the stressors I can't do anything about. Hopefully, there's a company that can appreciate my experiences and what I have to offer.
I have to admit that never in my wildest dreams did I think I would I find myself in both the physical and emotional mess I'm in at this point in time. What I imagined I would be doing at this stage in my life is so far removed from what is my reality at this point. For much of it, I only have myself to blame. All I can do is try to correct what can be corrected. What's that saying....'If you fail to plan, then plan to fail'.
I deserve a better life, and I'm going to begin a new journey. At 62 years old, it will be interesting, a challenge and I hope surprising how I find a new me. It's actually kind of exciting and yet terrifying all at the same time.
Prayers and support of some of my friends and family keeps me going.
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